My children eat fruit and vegetables. They eat salad and sushi, spinach and seaweed. They eat curry and cabbage, kimchi and cauliflower. They eat pretty much anything. What’s more, they enjoy it. OK, some things more than others, but there is very little they will point blank refuse.
I’m not taking all the credit for this. I think I’ve been pretty lucky in so much as they genuinely enjoy food. I know this is not the case for many others. I would also like to point out that picky eating due to a disorder, such as that resulting from a child on the autistic spectrum, bears no resemblance to regular fussiness, and any healthy eating guidelines are not applicable in these cases.
I would like to share with you some things I have learned with my three children. Take what you fancy, and ignore what you don’t. What you are reading is based purely on my experience, nothing more. No research involved at all.
Make it tasty
Toddlers and children enjoy tasty food just as we do. I remember when my eldest was small and I was feeding her cold baby food from a jar. She was fussing and spluttering and spitting it out. I was staying with my sister in the UK at the time (jetlag and fussy eating – oh the joy) and she said to me “have you tried that stuff, Ailish? it’s revolting”. And so it was. My sister mushed up some vegetable stew with mashed potato, warmed it nicely and my daughter lapped it up. It simply had not occurred to me that a baby would have any preference when it came to how food tastes. How strange that seems now!
Don’t be afraid to cook with vegetable or chicken stock. Use a little butter. Add herbs, spices, garlic, ginger, a splash of soy sauce, a touch of chilli or curry powder. These are not adult flavours, they are just flavours. Go slow and easy and gently build up your child’s repertoire.
This may have worked a little too well for my youngest, who at age 9, adds tabasco to a worrying number of savoury dishes. What will he do for a chilli kick aged 20……?
Involve your child
The sooner you do this, the better. A baby can sit in a high chair or on the floor playing with a carrot, whilst the carrots are being chopped. Give a pan and a wooden spoon. Let them see, smell and touch whilst the food is being prepared. Before long, they can help to stir a pot or add the seasoning. A child who has had an active part in preparing a meal is far more likely to eat it. When they are old enough to appreciate it, take them to the market where they can see the food before it reaches our kitchen and allow them to make some choices. Shall we have chicken or fish? Potatoes or pasta? This involvement really does work and rather than presenting a finished meal out of nowhere with which the child feels no connection and therefore has little interest in, give them some insight, some input and a little control.
Use your fingers
Finger food is always a winner. I’m not one for terribly fussy food, and those images on the internet of children’s food as works of art on a plate give me hives. But various different foods, chopped smallish, always worked for us for a quick meal. Grapes cut in half, small cubes of cheese, carrot sticks….. this kind of thing generally appeals to most children. They can use their fingers to eat which is very important so that they learn about the different textures, and it is fun. Let your toddler make their own sandwich – give the bread, and the filling, and let them get on with it. A bit messy, but worth it. I used to also give my toddlers a blunt knife, a small tub of hummous or cream cheese and let them spread it onto crackers. An activity in itself! Filled a whole hour! Touching, feeling and dare I say it, playing with food, is very important to children so they learn it is nothing to fear. They are going to put it inside their mouths, which is a very personal thing, and they need to learn to trust. So let them explore it as much as possible.
Eat together
We all know this works. Children ultimately copy adults and eating is naturally a social time. Eating on your own is no fun, especially while feeling pressure to perform! Commonly in Hong Kong, Daddy is returning home late from work and Mummy would much rather eat a civilised dinner with him at 8.30pm, than feeding-time-at-the-zoo at 5.00pm (I don’t wish to generalise, but I know this to be true for a lot of families). This is perfectly understandable, who wouldn’t? But it is still important to sit down at the table with the children at meal times, maybe eat a few vegetables at the same time, talk and listen – make it comfortable and a time when they know they have your attention. A time to look forward to. It may be worth thinking about having your full meal at this earlier time once or twice during the week, and make a point of doing it all together at the weekend. And if it is impossible for either parent to be there, have your helper have dinner with the kids, rather than her only ‘feed’ the kids.
The chicken nugget trap
Try not to think in terms of kids’ food versus adult food. It’s all just food. Your kids are more likely to eat if you’re all eating the same thing and this is very possible once your child reaches the 12 month mark. You may need to adapt your child’s portion in some way (adding yoghurt to curry, taking a small portion out before adding chilli etc) but starting young with regular food will avoid them getting addicted to bland “kiddy” food and developing anxiety towards anything novel or with a strong flavour.
Back off
Nobody likes to be scrutinised while performing a task. Try taking the pressure off your little muncher. Offer the food, give a mouthful, and then take the focus off. Look to your own food, or chat to another child. You may just find they eat that broccoli when you are not watching them like a hawk. Especially if you are eating broccoli too!
Stay calm
Children pick up so easily on our mood. If you feel the tension rising as meal time is approaching, then so will they. Stay light hearted and strive towards making dinner time a time to enjoy. If they eat almost nothing, keep calm, smile, clear it away and try again tomorrow.
Firm but fair
I love food, and good food is important to me. So it was important that my children learned to love food too. Now, all children are naturally picky. I know some are pickier than others, but all children like to stick to what they know. This is normal. Encouraging new foods is a slow and gradual process, and it starts very early. My kids know they have to try something quite a few times before they are allowed not to like it. There are many things they have proclaimed they hated (no. 3 child is the best at this) and have ended up loving. Spinach fried in garlic. Roasted sweet potato. Beetroot. I could go on. So, don’t give up at the first hurdle. Offer tiny amounts of new things to try. However, I do respect them if they really cannot bear something after a valiant attempt. Child no. 1 doesn’t like celery. Child no. 2 doesn’t like pumpkin. Child no. 3 doesn’t like cream. And none of them will touch a mushroom.
For very small toddler munchkins, reasoning is not really an option, and so then I can see the value of “hiding” vegetables in food and there are many fabulous ways of doing this. But as they get older, this is, well…. quite boring, and I think they should have an idea of what they are eating.
Give some control
At meal times, in our house, there are certain things the children have little control over. They must come to the table at dinner time and they must try anything new. But, they can choose how much they eat. Taking this pressure off is sometimes enough to stop the battles.
Eating away from home
I cannot tell you the number of times I have had other people’s children at my house to eat and their Mums have been aghast when I tell them what we had for dinner. “Oh, but Johnny wouldn’t eat that.” Well, he did. Quite happily.
Children do all kinds of things differently when they are in different environments, away from familiar triggers and routines. So, don’t reject the restaurant, or the neighbour’s place for fear that your fussy eater will create a scene. They just might not.
Start small
A huge dish of food is a very intimidating thing to a small child. Offer small portions which they won’t feel threatened by. Better still, once they are old enough, let them serve themselves or choose how many carrots they want. This way, they are far more likely to be able finish it and you won’t be left with the “don’t waste food” argument. Personally, I never make my kids finish their food, but ask them to stop when their tummies feel full. Quite frankly, forcing food into a child does not seem better to me than putting it in the bin or feeding it to the dog. We just got our dog its preferred by dogs.
If they finish and ask for more, then great!
Eat local when travelling
I’m passionate about this. My children were born in Asia, and like most expat families, we have been fortunate to travel quite a bit. Travelling and food for our family go hand in hand. Memories of different places become entwined with the fabulous food we ate there. Pho in Vietnam. Nasi lemak in Malyasia. Chicken rice in Singapore. Hoppers and curry in Sri Lanka. Seafood in Australia. Pies in New Zealand (!!). Having good eaters really comes into its own when travelling. To be able to eat anywhere and try anything is such a joy in a foreign land. To have to trawl in search of spaghetti bolognese wherever one goes is tedious. And expensive.
Educate
Most kids like to eat junk. If we are being honest, most of us like to eat junk. In a few short years, you will have no control over what your child chooses to eat. All we can do is educate them about making healthy choices and why that is a good thing. My biggest bug-bear is sugary drinks, and it worries me when my children tell me how many cartons of iced tea, or cans of soda their school friends drink on any given day. If my kids choose not to do this, I will be happy.
Parents must ensure to choose the right kids dental services to provide an excellent treatment of their kid’s oral health. Apart from visiting the dentist regularly, parents must also teach their children to brush, floss and risen their teeth so that children can learn about good hygiene right from within the house.
Everything in moderation
I don’t believe in banning any foods; rather teach that some foods are for every day, and some are for special occasions. Party food is to be enjoyed at parties and life is too short not to eat chocolate and ice-cream.
I am well aware that some children have no interest in food and just view it as fuel, just as some adults do. I have a very dear brother-in-law who would be happy to see out the end of his days eating only cornflakes and chocolate. I am also willing to accept that I just struck lucky – both my husband and I enjoy good food, and therefore it may seem reasonable to assume that our children would be interested too. Be that as it may, but I am going to give myself a smidgen of credit; I put in the effort. My children are now 13, 11 and 9. My work is almost done. Start early and be confident.
Ailish Cotton
Mum of 3