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Allison discusses the emotional weight of infertility in Healthy Matters newsletter

Posted on 12 September 2018 by Ailish Cotton

The inability to become pregnant is often associated to one of the most distressing life crises for women and couples. Struggling with infertility can cause tremendous pain and if you are feeling sad, anxious, depressed or isolated, you are not alone.
Healthy Matters talked to Hong Kong psychotherapist Allison Heiliczer about the emotional weight of infertility and some of the coping strategies she recommends.

Why do fertility problems cause so much pain?

Fertility problems are often a huge source of emotional pain as they reflect feelings of not only personal failure but also communal. Infertility, even the very word, often connotes an inability to create, produce, and nurture and therefore places a heavy psychological load onto an individual or couple.
As much as we might not be aware of social forces at play while trying to procreate, there are still assumptions in many cultures and religions that in order for one to be fulfilled, he/she must have a baby, and by having that baby, those babies, that a couple fulfils a societal obligation. This often gets socially reinforced as people watch other people have babies and assume that they had no challenges doing so and wonder why they cannot. Their mind then often jumps to thinking they have failed or will miss out on experiences others have. This is often connected to emotional pain as the mind starts to wonder whether having a baby will ever be possible and if not, then could they be fulfilled? Some people also do not have the financial and/or emotional reserves to invest in fertility treatments or adoption and therefore feel that that if they cannot get pregnant “naturally”, they are doomed.
Click here to read the full article in the Healthy Matters newsletter
Allison Heiliczer is a psychotherapist and part of the Annerley team. She has a special interest in women and couples and has helped many of our Annerley families. If you would like to book a therapy session or consultation with Allison, please email info@annerley.com.hk or call 29831558. Allison also facilitates our postnatal depression group at Annerley. This is free of charge – please see www.annerley.com.hk for details or give us a call.

allison heilczer

Allison Heiliczer, Annerley psychotherapist, runs the postnatal Depression Group and offers private consultations to women and couples.

 

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