Tag Archive | "time management"

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Learning to let go – Trusting your helper

Posted on 12 September 2013 by Kristrun

We want to be great parents. We want to be there for our children every step of the way. Still, for many of us who are living away IMG_1641from home, employing a domestic helper is an inevitability. Hong Kong is just not set up to provide child-care by any other method, and we have no family network around us to help out. Added to this is the common situation of a husband often away traveling with work.

So it is during pregnancy that many of us contemplate this for the first time, and it can be a very strange notion – this idea of a complete stranger sharing your home and personal space. Most women, wisely, employ a helper well before the baby arrives as common sense will tell you that it is best to do his a) whilst you have time and b) so that you can get to know each other before the whirlwind of a newborn comes about.

Your baby comes home, and you hold her close to you and never want to let go. You are appreciative of the fact that your helper is doing the laundry and the cooking, but the idea of her helping with the baby – such an obvious thing before – suddenly seems unfathomable. Indeed, nobody is able to take care of her the way you can.

This is true. But it does not mean your way is the only way. Daddy’s way or helper’s way may not be exactly the same, but it can still work well.

The important thing is to make sure the fundamentals are in place and that your helper knows what you want and what you think is important. They need to know why as well as how. Training is essential. What job do you know offers no training to the chosen candidate? And there are few jobs more important than taking care of a baby.

Arrange for first aid training in Toronto before the baby is born. First aid and CPR, it goes without saying, but baby-care courses are also important. These ladies who have such an important role in our lives may have had a hugely different life-experience to us and the most basic things can differ widely – sleeping, bathing, eating, playing, stimulation, hygiene, priorities in case of an emergency – the list goes on and on.

Some mothers will go it alone, and prefer to do it all themselves, and that is wonderful. But, choosing to accept help is also fine. Neither is the better mother. Indeed, having help enables a lot of women to be better mothers! And of course, for those of us returning to work, there is no other real choice.

It is so important that, as the dust settles, and routines are established, that you find a little time to take a break. Be it for exercise, a hobby, a relaxing bath, or to catch up with a friend. This, for many of us, inevitably means leaving our baby with our helper. Let her do it in small steps – she also needs to get to know your child and to learn his cues and ways. Take a shower, leaving baby with helper. Catch up with emails. Then leave the house for a short time. Build it up, so that all three of you feel confident and comfortable. Your helper needs time to hone these skills.

Letting go is not a sign of weakness. As is often said, it takes a village to raise a child and it just so happens that our helpers are a large part of that village for many of us. Equip them with the knowledge, skill and confidence to do this safely and well. It will then be a positive experience for all.

 

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I Need More Time! – tips for time management

Posted on 04 July 2012 by Annerley

Time takes on a whole new meaning when we become a mother. What time did baby wake up? How much time did s/he sleep today? Is there enough time to get to the shops before baby needs to be fed again? A sudden, acute awareness of time management enters our lives and gets almost as much attention as our new arrival. But the biggest change in our perception of time is how little is left for us. We look fondly back at the days when we could sit down with our feet up and watch a whole episode of anything followed by a nice long bath without any interruptions. But the truth is, we can still have this kind of me-time (I know, it sounds impossible but bear with me!) if we just learn a few simple ways to manage our days.

I say this a lot but just because baby comes first does not mean that you come last. I’m not suggesting that you ignore the very many needs of your child but I am suggesting that you don’t ignore yourself. If you can promise yourself one definite regular piece of time for yourself each week, it can make the challenging times easier to get through. Knowing that you have some me-time to look forward to no matter what gives you something to hold onto.

Choose one thing that you love to do – whether that’s a massage, a meet-up with your friends, a simple walk by yourself – and firmly slot it into your week at a time when you know that nothing can get in the way of it. Make sure it’s a time when your partner is home so that he knows that your me-time is his baby-time.  In that way, it becomes a priority for both of you. You get to spend some time with your lovely self and he gets to have some time alone to get to know his child.

There are many other ways to make time for you and you can learn about these at our new Truth About Motherhood workshop. It’s also a chance to spend an hour a week focussing on you. Just imagine, one whole hour just for you….

 

The Truth About Motherhood is a 4-part workshop for Mums-only that will give you plenty of tips, techniques and true stories about life as a Mum in Hong Kong. And because we know how precious your time is, we’re keeping each workshop to just one hour each week. So if you want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth from someone who’s been through it all three times, simply click here!

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Weekend at home

Posted on 26 February 2012 by hulda

…it has been a long time since I have had a weekend at home without any work.  Somehow the days have just disappeared while all of us have been so busy in this current baby boom.  I feel that I am in a desperate need to go away for a few days and reload the batteries, although this has been very nice, to have the last two days only for the family.

…one big reminder of how fast time goes, this girl is now almost walking – and the cat is exploding from extra weight.

… the older  teenager is going to a boarding school this september.

…the lady teenager brought home a crowd last night and the boy in the group was not allowed to sleep over.

…our friend (who is staying with us at the moment)’s son who I last saw newborn, is 13 years old.

Lord how time flies.

 

Everyone who is interested in supporting us in the Birth Centre project, can you kindly make contact – we need all the help we can get!

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